Today feels like a very different day, actually Tuesday February 28th, 2018 I felt the shift. The day after, strong. The 1st, awake. The 2nd, so perfectly timed. A shedding of a full moon before my 25th birthday. Another journal completed, ending another chapter in my life and so it goes…

Today is the birth of my parents. The birth of another mother. The birth of another father. The day that the lineage continues. Today is my mother’s birth-day. It isn’t about me, and I guess that is why my whole life I never felt the need to celebrate MY birthday. I did always feel it was another day, although very special.

Every year brings on special take aways, beautiful findings through relationships, some letting go of others, the strength on holding onto ones we will eventually meet up with on our future journeys. The true relationship with the universe, holding on too tightly of what we love will always suffer. When we let go and let people thrive in their own, the world gives. One person is too much for one person, it is the ability to give and let go at the same time. It is how we all share each other.

I feel like today is different not because I am 25 years young, but because each day brings upon its challenges, its gifts, its realizations, its distractions, its anger, its joyfulness, its laughter, and above all its love. The love returns in fullness. Every time.

Today I recognize self care is every damn day. I recognize this is what our people need. “I’ve been here in Jupiter’s cove. Laughing at the play of life. Letting my body rest. It is my choice to be joyful. This is my vision. Everything, right on time.”

The sun shines on my body, fallen leaves, and a tree so massive the roots vibrate through and up my root. I sit and feel my given body. I sit and reenergize what it is to feel. Mother Earth rebirths us.

I feel different today in a way that cannot be written in words, only felt by myself and God. Diving deep into the deepest part of ourselves. Recognizing the true connections we’ve made throughout our years, days, and hours. The 20 minute conversations with strangers. The hugs that brings on the tears. The healing of being heard and witnessed by my sisters and ancestors.

Everything is right on time.

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The soft bat of her eyelashes, the soft spoken yell

The patience and poise, the sea over way

Generations of human identity, making way for womb loving

Make way she is coming, make way they know.

All and all is coming.

Nearing the far to the end. The planets continue to circle, the nights to days. The breaths of the bodies, the headaches, the pains. The excitements, the joy, the wondering laughs. New faces, quick conversations, perhaps. The oh so longing, the true felt missing of touch. The hugs one must feel at least seven times, or you're probably too "tough." The old memories spring upon us, whatever triggers the thoughts. The blossoming new ideas that bury deep so they never go un-forgot. I notice now my cycles, the ebbs and tides of my life's flow. The beauty in the bleeding and knowing nature is in full control. Not trying to fix, not trying to unfold. Expressing it unapologetically for those around me to fully know. I come upon my true connection, not a sliver doubt taking just a bit of control. I now own it, it owns me, I so deeply know. From my conception to my birth, my troubles, insecurities, triumphs, and mistakes. My lofty and dreamy brain collects and holds onto the little wins. The little wins are just fine they are little takes. My brain has yet again found some clarity. I cherish these moments, I hold onto a lot. I recognize what I need from whom. I know myself in parts, I believe others think they know me in whole. Our soulmates are around us, holding us to and fro. What magnificent glory to know we've made nonsense into understanding. I am mixed with every bit of one of us, a human, our spirit's soul. I feel you every time, unless my head forgets to hold the heart in hand. Cherishing one another, see me in all my faults and defects. Accept as I am and don't worry because we all carry ego and judgements will sometimes carry. The water I feel peaceful, the water he feels safe. Alone we are today, tomorrow together in another space. The oceans, the mountains, the palm tree's top. I need you now, but not more than ever. Quiet, excessive, fluctuation, fear. Reduce to produce in love that knows what fear? The expression of words of streams of consciousness makes way through an existential thoughts that filter through emotions. Come hold me close, dear. Come through from person to person, augmented reality or not. My emotions are what captivate me, move me, inspire me a lot. Our perception stems from emotions of affirmation, empowerment, fixation of voices that remind me that I am sane. Stay here, stay with you. Assimilate your intuitions, rise to speak each day. Maybe you just don't want to, and that's ok. But forget that, forget you, be meek and underestimate your greatness. No one is counting on you. Only count your money, close your opportunity, go ahead close your door. 7cfa9db13af67e1f925591e2e41c0b0d8d1695173ba9b924ee5742a0b95a48e9 Photographs Philip-Lorca diCorcia

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the black and white of his hand

floated through the heated air

his arm just hanging

sounds of masculinity I fathomed

bridge of death

I sought for

residence of life

the fingers now floated there

lifeless

buoyant amongst pressure

he was gone

she is arriving